You wouldn’t believe it, the singer remarks. There she was readying for her first album release in eight years, ecstatically in love with her recent boyfriend, and at long last the mom to a little one after struggling to conceive for ten years, riding high. Suddenly in spring she was diagnosed with cancer in her breast.
The musician, real name Jessica Cornish, is renowned for telling it as it is. The record, the provocatively titled album, was intended as an transparent story, dealing with every bit of hardship she’d faced since she last worked on songs (endometriosis, miscarriage, unsuccessful partnerships, psychological manipulation, mental health struggles) with typical candour. The lead track, No Secrets, was dropped in April. But by then there existed a huge secret. The cancer. Then next release, her song Living My Best Life, was released in late spring and the artist was giving interviews about how she was enjoying life to the fullest, while at the same time living with breast cancer. Four weeks after she went public, and in the start of summer she had a mastectomy.
She shoots me her best “What the fuck?” look. “I release with a song called No Secrets. I’m doing every media appearance, and they’re, like, ‘So what’s new with you?’ and I’m, like, ‘Well, not much…’” she has just had to call off performances because she’s awaiting reconstructive surgery.
Our interview takes place at a studio in London. She is wearing a tan faux-leather coat, jeans with elaborate white patches, beige footwear and large glasses. Imagine rocker vibe meets vintage look. “It seems like I’m in the 1970s and I should have a man with facial hair.” A biker reference, I say, thinking of the picture. “That’s what people called me at school!” She beams. Jessie is fast-thinking, irreverent and filter-free. She says she has always fancied doing comedy and is aiming for her first comedy performance next year. “I like entertaining. On stage I basically roast the fans.”
Health Struggles and Diagnosis
Cornish was planning an performance at the ceremony when she discovered a mass. “I promptly visited to get it looked at, had an ultrasound, and they said, ‘It looks like nothing; your tissue is healthy.’ And I responded, ‘Yet I sense it. I have arm pain and tingling in my hands whenever I rise.’ And they suggested, ‘We should biopsy it?’ That was 28 March, the following my birthday.” It was a Friday. The doctor told her if it was bad news she’d contact on the Monday. By then she had assured herself it was fine. The way she explains it, it was simply too inconvenient to get cancer when she had many commitments.
“It was a fortnight prior from launching this thing after years away and an extended break. And she contacted me and said, ‘Are you free at six?’ And I thought, ‘It’s virtual, probably routine.’ So I join the call expecting it’s all going to be positive, and she goes, ‘Are you sitting down?.’ The solemn tone? And she reveals, ‘I regret to inform you but your test results have indicated malignant cells.’” How did you respond? “I said, ‘That’s unfortunate. What awful timing.’ My initial thought was, ‘My child depends on me.’”
Some men find me challenging due to my self-awareness
She considered the operation terrifying and absurd. “I fear going under. They walk you down. In urgent cases you roll down in a bed, but then I just walked with a gown on and my backside out. It felt surreal.” But, she adds, she’s been fortunate. Without chemo or radio, just the op. “It’s terrible, but you know what? I’m grateful it was caught soon. I underwent removal four months ago and my one side now looks like a fruit under fabric.” Another grin. “The nipple was preserved.”
The follow-up procedure is for health and appearance. Her breasts, she observes, are now “uneven. The size doesn’t match. That’s impolite! I reflected, no need to bully me, I’m already having a difficult experience. So rude! Ironically I said I’d not undergo augmentation because I’ve got perfectionism, and I know they’d never be flawless. Illness changed that.”
Previous Struggles
Cornish is no stranger to illness. She believes her attitude toward illness has been so upbeat because she’s familiar with medical emergencies. Frequently they align with career highs, serving as a tap on the shoulder, or shock, to remind her not to assume everything is fine. “Frankly, I feel life goes, ‘You having a good time? Take a seat.’ Since childhood, it has often paired with achievements for me; something severe or obscure has impacted my body.”
She takes me back to her 11-year-old self, already beginning featuring in the London theater in a musical (she was cast at the age of nine). That’s when she was diagnosed with the cardiac issue Wolff-Parkinson-White syndrome, which can cause a tachycardia as well as lightheadedness and heart flutters. “I attended rehearsals intermittently on an IV drip, and returning to the hospital at night.” She skips forward six years, and 17-year-old Jess has entered the female band the group while enrolled in the performing arts school. “I just got my first record deal, and I had a cerebral event. Then when I was about to put out music in recently I had a collision and my throat was injured and I lost my voice for a twelve months.”
Wow, I say, slow down, I need a moment. At just 17? She nods|agrees
